Wifey's House

Moving Day

2009-04-10T11:52:00.004-04:00

Do you ever feel like you’re juggling too many balls and if you don’t make a change soon one of them is going to hit you in the head?

(insert “Um, hell yeah, Wifey” here)

While I love all of my balls, ahem, I do feel the need to streamline so that I can work smarter – not harder. With that said I’ve decided to combine residences, pack up Wifey’s House and make all of my posts at Ask Wifey – on one blog.

What does that mean for you? More Wifey. While Wifey’s House is where I let loose a little more, gasp, I’ve been finding that I’ve wanted to share the same things on both blogs (figuring out how to say the same thing differently and sending everyone somewhere else all the time gets a little old), so this seems like the perfect solution.

If you read both blogs, now you have one less stop to make; and if you’ve never been to Ask Wifey I look forward to welcoming you to that side of my world.

To my faithful followers, I appreciate all of the love and ask that you come over to Ask Wifey and hit the follow button there so you can continue to get your dose of Wifey. And, to any new folks stopping by, you’re also invited over and invited to click that lovely little follow button so you can keep up with what’s happening in Wifey’s world, too.

My new forwarding address is:

www.AskWifey.com

Can’t wait to see you there.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Last Chance

2009-04-09T18:26:00.006-04:00

Tonight's the last night to win this ...

A $25 Target Gift Card at The BlogRollers

Come on. Hurry! What are you waiting for?

Winks & Smiles,

Wifey

That’ll be $1 Please

2009-04-08T09:04:00.004-04:00

Having a boy has many perks – simple hair, low maintenance shopping and no high-pitch screaming – but when it comes to things like making sure all of your pee lands inside the toilet, boys suck.

Yes, I’m tired of wiping up misdirected urine from the floor, Gasp!, - Miles is only 7 so it’s not like he’s standing that far from the toilet – but no worries, I’ve come up with a plan to fix his little problem.

I’ve decided to start charging him $1 every time he misses the potty and doesn’t clean it up himself. We’ll see if that can straighten him out – no pun intended. He only has a few dollars so for his sake I hope he learns quickly.

What creative ways have you come up with to correct your kids’ minor malfunctions? Do tell, frustrated mamas want to know …

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

If you haven’t been over to The BlogRollers to check out my new site and enter to win a $25 Target gift card what are you waiting for? I’m also dishing about being married to a big spender at Ask Wifey. So many places to visit, so little time. Go. Now. Hurry.

You’ve Got to Be in It To Win It

2009-04-06T11:14:00.003-04:00

Yup, it’s a contest and I wish I could win this …

A $25 gift card to Target

I can’t, but you can by showing me a little love as I launch my new project, The BlogRollers. Please come by, see what we’re up to, and how you can win and join in the fun.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wifey’s at it Again

2009-04-03T08:54:00.003-04:00

Since juggling all of the chaos at Wifey’s House clearly isn’t enough, ahem, I’m working on another exciting project with the lovely and talented Christie at My Life … A Work in Progress, and will announce it next week on The ChatterBox Show.

This Monday, April 6, at 10 a.m. EST, tune in to The ChatterBox Show to learn more about our special project as we celebrate the official launch and share some of the very special surprises we’ve got up our sleeves.

I love surprises, don’t you?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

OK, for those of you who don’t love surprises and took the time to read this full post, click here and get the scoop early.

Batting Ballerina

2009-04-01T11:18:00.007-04:00

No, this is no April Fools’, that’s my multi-talented daughter knocking one out of the park … on Wii … in her ballerina tutu.

Yes, this is what spring break has come to. I’m half way through three weeks of spring break and we’re all still smiling – sort of.

And, yes, she does reading time in her tutu, too.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! Do you do your ‘do the way your husband likes it? Yup, we’re dishing about hair this week at Ask Wifey. Come chime in …

Another Notch in My Belt

2009-03-30T09:09:00.002-04:00

In January when I started my quest to rock a bikini on my 38th birthday I was wearing my belt on the first notch. Not the farthest notch where you have to bypass all the other notches to get to it, but the loosest one, the one that screams, "you can’t get any bigger or you’ll need a new damn belt."

One month ago when I blogged about rocking a bikini on my birthday I had moved comfortably on to the second notch. Well, this Saturday marked a new era for me and my belt. I entered into territory that has never been explored – I put the belt on and fastened it easily in the third notch.

I’m not bragging folks – I’ve punctured belts, and my hand, making my own notches just so I wouldn’t have to go up a size – I’m just trying to stay motivated and maybe motivate one of you, too.

I’ve get less than one month until my birthday and I’ve probably got to slide another two notches if I’m going to rock that bikini – and not scare anyone. Since I’m boycotting the scale notches in my belt, not pounds, are my milestones.

Three down, two more to go…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! Are you married to a sports fanatic? In honor of March Madness I’m dishing about the top ten signs of a sports fanatic at Ask Wifey. You don’t want to miss this one.

Hanging with Mrs. C

2009-03-27T08:18:00.002-04:00

While I’m still out partying at the UBP, I made a little pit stop to hangout with Mrs. C.

That’s right, I’m the featured blogger today at one of my daily reads, Hanging with Mrs. Cooper.

If you’ve never hung out with Mrs. C - gasp! - now would be a great time to do so.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Party Over Here

2009-03-25T16:31:00.003-04:00

The Ultimate Blog Party, of course.

I got my party on last year with the fabulous ladies at 5 Minutes for Mom and had so much fun I had to break out my little black party dress to do it again.

What’s The Ultimate Blog Party? Damn if I know, I’m just waiting for someone to bring me a drink. OK, seriously, it’s a way to build online friendships and discover new blogs. You give a little love, get a little love and have tons of fun doing it.

This is the part where I’m supposed to share a little about myself… I’m a wife, mother, daughter, sister, author, freelance magazine writer, personal trainer, NBA and NFL fanatic, tennis player, chocolate connoisseur, beer drinker, music lover, blah, blah, blah. You can read more than you probably want to know about me here, so I’ll just give you the juicy stuff:

Husband and I are celebrating ten years of marriage this May – our life changing wedding was featured on The Learning Channel’s popular show “A Wedding Story.” We have two beautiful, busy children: Miles is 7 and Milan is 5 going on 15.

Last October my sister, a girlfriend and I boarded Royal Caribbean’s Brilliance of the Seas and embarked on a two week cruisetour throughout the Mediterranean. Madrid, Toledo, Barcelona, Cannes, Florence, Venice and Capri are just a few of the fabulous cities we explored. Our adventures on land and at sea were filmed and aired March 21 on the Travel Channel’s series “Great Cruises: Why Not The Mediterranean.” If you missed the show it will re-air on April 18 at 8 p.m. and on May 24 at 8 p.m. on The Travel Channel. You can also visit my other blog, Ask Wifey, to view the commercial and a short clip from the show.

Speaking of blogs, come see me at Ask Wifey where I do my best to manage marriage, motherhood and all the mayhem. Once a week I host Wifey’s Q and A and the rest of the time I’m dishing about hot topics and inviting real moms and wives like you to share their experiences and words of wisdom. Wifey’s House is my personal blog where I let it all hang out. Not really. Well, sort of.

For those of you new to Wifey’s House, come on in, stay awhile and leave me a comment so I can visit you, too. For those of you who have witnessed my chaos already, glad to see you were brave enough to come back, please leave me a comment and let me know why.

Now excuse me while I go get my party on. Um, where’s that drink?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

"Reunited and It Feels So Good"

2009-03-23T08:55:00.003-04:00

A reunion is probably not the best way to describe my Uncle Tony meeting his son, Charles, after 38 years since he never knew he existed; but, after watching the two together you would think they were never separated.

It was a television weekend for my family – I was on The Travel Channel and my uncle and his son’s heartwarming story made the local news. You don’t want to miss this one. …

And they say there are no happy stories on the news. Love you, Charles! Welcome to the family.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

WAIT! The Travel Channel show “Great Cruises: Why Not the Mediterranean?” featuring me and my girlfriends aired this past Saturday night; and today is the last day to win the goodie I brought back from Venice. You guessed, come on over to Ask Wifey to catch a clip of the show and get in on the contest!

Wait, Is that Me? On TV?

2009-03-19T14:37:00.001-04:00

I was flipping channels last night and came across this hot, ahem, football player’s new show on The Travel Channel and then saw ME strolling on the beach in Barcelona.

Gasp!

Yes, it was a commercial for my show airing this Saturday at 8 p.m; and yes, you know I pulled a copy of it. Come on over to Ask Wifey and take a peek …

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

“I’ll Always Love My Mama…”

2009-03-18T09:41:00.002-04:00

Today is my mother’s 65th birthday. Hmm, not sure if she wanted me to oust her age but since 60 is the new 50 and she doesn’t look – or act – a day over 50 I think its all good.

I could write a really long post about all of the wonderful qualities my mother possesses – she’s smart, loving, funny, creative, crafty, thoughtful, interesting, loyal, strong and has a keen knack for eyeing a fabulous pair of shoes – or I could go on and on about some of the special memories I have – climbing into her bed as a toddler, becoming her #1 shopping helper when my big sister started school, reading the fun notes she used to write on my napkins in my lunchbox, going to Paris for the weekend in high school, the entire year we planned my wedding – my lists could go on and on.

When you have a mother as special as I do you couldn’t possibly list all of the things that you love about her or all of the things she’s done that have impacted your life – something would inevitably get left out. But, what you can do is say, thanks, Mom, for being you, for loving me for me, and for all of the wonderful things you do.

My sister, my mother, me, my grandmother and my daughter - we run four generations deep!

Happy Birthday, Mom! Love you.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! If you haven’t thrown your name in the ring to win the goodie I brought back from Venice, Italy, head over to Ask Wifey now …

A Little Bling for Your Bottle

2009-03-17T09:28:00.004-04:00

It’s finally time … my girlfriends getaway to the Mediterranean will air on The Travel Channel as a part of their “Great Cruises” series this Saturday, March 21, at 8 p.m. (check your local listings to confirm times).

You didn’t think I would go on a fabulous European cruisetour, sip wine, site see, shop ‘til I drop and not bring you anything back did you?

Yup, it’s a giveaway. And you can win this …

… a beautiful, glass blown bottle stopper I brought back from Venice.

Come on over to Ask Wifey to throw your name in the hat. You know you’ve got a bottle that would love a little bling …

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Check Your Girls

2009-03-16T09:43:00.001-04:00

Do you check your girls? No, I’m not talking about your BFFs.

Come over to Ask Wifey for an important reminder that should top everyone’s list.

Um, come on … what are you waiting for?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

One Fit Wifey

2009-03-12T09:55:00.002-04:00

Hard work pays off. Exercise, eat right, stay away from Girl Scout cookies, give up beer, swear off chocolate and you, too, might become “One Fit Mommy.”

That’s right, one of my favorite bloggers, Lisa at Workout Mommy, is featuring me, today, as “One Fit Mommy.”

If you’ve never been to Workout Mommy, now is the time to go. She’s always up on the latest exercise trends, products and has the best contests, too – I won a fabulous pair jeans a couple months ago! Stop by, show her some love and make sure to tell her I sent you…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

An Open Letter to Girl Scout Cookie Pushers

2009-03-11T10:02:00.004-04:00

Dear Cute Little Girl Scouts Who Live in My Neighborhood and Force Me to Buy Cookies:

Thank you for delivering the multitude of Girl Scout cookies that I ordered from everyone who knocked on my door because I don’t know how to say no; because I have kids of my own and pray that someone will buy some of their crap, too; and because I’m simply a sucker for cookies.

It was so thoughtful for you all to unload these boxes on me just as I started my food lockdown. I know that you think I’m an adult and can control myself and you’re right, ahem, I am. And, I did. I knew exactly how many scrumptious Samoas I sucked down and carefully counted out how many classic Thin Mints I consumed.

Please don’t feel guilty because I have less than two months to squeeze into a bikini on my 38th birthday and your delightful little smiles and cookies have thrown a big monkey wrench in my plan. It’s not like you don’t come knocking every year at the same time. I should know better. No, really I should.

The upside is this problem never lasts for long – because the cookies don’t. As quickly as they come in the door they get gobbled up just as fast. Thankfully, the three other occupants of Wifey’s House have no self-control either so I can easily blame them for eating them all.

I’d love to tell you that I’m through with your cookies and I won’t be ordering any next year but I’d be lying. When you ring the doorbell I’ll cave in, happily, just like I always do and might even order an extra box.

Thanks again for your prompt delivery, for increasing my workouts and for only selling your addictive little cookies once a year.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! Ladies, have you ever missed your mother-in-law’s birthday? Are you the date keeper in your house? We’re dishing about that at Ask Wifey. I know you’ve got two cents … come throw it in.

Batting with the Big Boys

2009-03-09T15:05:00.004-04:00

Saturday was opening day at the park where Miles plays baseball. This is his first year moving up from T-ball and it’s a whole new ballgame. For starters the tee is gone so the boys have to hit pitches thrown to them by the coach. Speaking of the boys, they’re bigger, they run faster, throw harder and they’re more interested in winning.

Did I mention he’s only 7?

Well, I’m happy to report that Miles can hang with the big boys. He hit a homerun on his first time up to bat and I caught it all with my new video camera.

Nice camera work, right? Ahem, Miles has skills, too. And, I promise we don’t know A-Rod’s cousin – no sports enhancement drugs at Wifey's House.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! The air date for my show on The Travel Channel has been changed. Come here for all the details.

I Need More, Not Less

2009-03-06T08:14:00.002-05:00

There’s already not enough hours in the day – now they want to take one away.

Damn.

Don’t forget its daylight savings this weekend; make sure to spring your clocks forward.

Speaking of time, do you get enough just for you? We’re dishing about getting your Me Time at Ask Wifey – come add your two cents.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Time to Let it Go

2009-03-05T09:13:00.004-05:00

I know we’re in a recession, but damn, this is ridiculous…

Yes, that’s my eyeliner and I think I’ve gotten all that I can from it – especially since it’s so small I can’t get it out of the top.

Here’s a little perspective…

Can someone please tell me to stop being so cheap – and lazy – and to treat myself to a new eyeliner?

Speaking of doing things for yourself; how long has it been since you took some Me Time? I dishing about it over at Ask Wifey. Come get inspired … or maybe inspire someone else.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

A Hard Act to Follow

2009-03-04T10:03:00.001-05:00

I’m not quite sure how to follow yesterday’s post – if you haven’t seen The Breakfast Song click here – so I won’t. But I will tell you that I just bought a new video camera, an Aiptek 720P HD, and once I figure out how to use it I plan on making some videos of my own. No, I can’t guarantee that I’ll top yesterday’s duo, but I’ll definitely do my best.

In the meantime, Wifey’s Weekly Q and A is up at Ask Wifey. I’m dishing about handling a helpful husband and his needy girl friend; and I answer if exercising everyday is really necessary.

I know you’ve got two cents … come throw it in.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Breakfast Song

2009-03-03T08:16:00.002-05:00

Ironically this video was sent to me yesterday after I announced my food lockdown. Meet my Uncle Jethro and Cousin Verna. No, not really. But I love this like they were…

If you haven’t been by Ask Wifey to weigh in on Lock and Knock, now would be a great time to do so…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Bye Bye Miss American Pie

2009-03-02T09:36:00.004-05:00

Isn’t she gorgeous? And, yes she tastes just as good as she looks. That was a piece of my favorite chocolate cream pie that a devoured after going out to dinner with my family last night. And now it’s time to say goodbye. I’m officially on food lockdown even though Husband doesn’t believe me.

“You’ve said that EVERY Sunday for the past four weeks.”

Yes, thank you Husband for bringing that to my attention, but this time I mean it. No, really. I mean it. I have to. See, I set a goal at New Years that I would rock a bikini on my 38th birthday. A little background – I haven’t rocked a bikini since I was … hmm … five. So, if I’m going to do this I’ve got to go on lockdown. My birthday is April 28 and I’ve got a little less than two months to get myself together.

Why am I telling you this? Because I’d love a little help from my friends. Last time I blogged about a fitness goal it helped keep me on track and accountable. And, who knows, maybe I just might inspire one of you to join me in my quest toward bikiniville, too. Yes, you would get to go on a shopping spree.

So, how am I going to do this? By working out and eating clean. Food lockdown does not mean starving myself; in fact I normally eat more when I eat healthier foods. But what it does mean is bye bye chocolate pie and very limited alcohol. Gasp! I know, that’s a big one, but I’ve done it before and I can do it again.

I’m also not stepping on my scale. Last time I became too obsessed with a number that can fluctuate so easily, it’s often counterproductive. Besides, my goal is not about what the scale says, but how I look and feel.

So, encouragement is always welcome. I can also handle tough love. And, if anyone is tackling some fitness goals of their own please let me know – I’d love to cheer you on, too!

Wait! Before you go, a quick question; do your kids miraculously wake up when you lock your bedroom door to have a little fun? I’m venting about that today at Ask Wifey. Come by and let me know I’m not alone …

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tech Support for Husband 1.0

2009-02-27T10:16:00.001-05:00

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then …

Come over to Ask Wifey to read more. Not trying to be difficult folks, just not trying to double post!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

There's a Coup Going on at Wifey's House

2009-02-25T09:45:00.006-05:00

There’s a coup going on at Wifey’s House … and here’s the culprit leading the revolt.

Its not like he’s trying to overthrow me, but he damn sure isn’t trying to listen. And yes, it’s a dictatorship at Wifey’s House. I, ahem, I mean Husband and I run the place.

Now don’t get me wrong, Miles is a sweetheart. He brought home all A’s on his last report card, he cleans his room without being asked, and he looks out for his baby sister. So, what’s the problem? He doesn’t listen when I tell him to do things. I heard myself practically begging him to get dressed this morning and it made me cringe. I come from the ol’ school when-mom-says-jump-ask-how-high mentality. I’m the only one jumping at Wifey’s House right now. Oh, HELL no! Things are about to change.

One of the best things that have come from me writing my Ask Wifey column is it forces me to think logically. In times of conflict or confusion I constantly find myself taking a deep breath and asking, "what would Wifey say?" If someone sent in a question with my exact scenario it would take me two minutes to spit out the answer – no more threats, act swiftly, dish out consequences, and maintain control. I shouldn’t have to ask a 7 year-old to do something more than one time – period. Especially if he wants to play with his Nintendo DS, MP3 player or any of the other little gadgets that his father and I were kind enough to give him.

So, it’s time to practice what I preach. There’s a coup going on at Wifey’s House, but I’m flipping the script and counter revolting. If anyone has any good tactics now would be the time to share.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Stop! Before you go, head over to Ask Wifey. This week’s Q&A is up and I’m dishing about fighting fair with your husband and the classic toilet seat trauma. I know you’ve got two cents!

Spanish Wine Take Me Back in Time

2009-02-23T12:21:00.004-05:00

I’ve finally got the date that my Mediterranean cruise show will air. Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 10 p.m. on The Travel Channel. The show is apart of their “Great Cruises” series. To read more about my big adventure click here or here.

So, after chaperoning all of those cute little kindergarteners on Friday I definitely needed to go make my weekend picks at Total Wine with Husband. In honor of the show and one of my favorite European countries, both of our picks this week come from Spain.

Me on the beach in beautiful Barcelona. Quietly I was hoping this weeks’ picks would take me back there.

Husband’s Pick:
Estrella Damm Lager Beer, The Beer of Barcelona

Wifey’s Pick:
Toro 2006 (a red Spanish wine)

Both of them taste great, both of them didn’t last very long, and both of them were under 10 bucks … so both of them get a big thumbs up.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! I’m not done yet. There’s a post over at Ask Wifey waiting for you to read it! Aww, come on … it’s about a magazine article I recently published in Heart & Soul.

They’re Letting Me Out of the House

2009-02-19T22:14:00.005-05:00

I’m chaperoning Milan’s kindergarten class trip today. There will be more than 80 little, smiling, happy faces like this one …

… all clamoring for my attention. I’ve got my camera, my cell phone, plenty of patience, ahem, and a bottle of extra strength rapid release Tylenol.

Pray for me.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! Before you go come see me at Ask Wifey. I’m over there dishing about “mothering” your husband and vacationing without the kids. Come weigh in!

Ask Wifey

2009-02-18T21:09:00.001-05:00

Ask Wifey – anything – and she’ll tell you what no one else will.

I just gave my site, AskWifey.com, a makeover and would love for you to stop by and check it out.

Don’t have a question … I bet you have a comment. Don’t be shy, make sure to leave one so I know you were there.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Where’s Wifey?

2009-02-16T15:21:00.001-05:00

I’m back. I spent the last four days down at Disney in Florida on a writing assignment and had a blast, ahem, I mean it was productive and really difficult to suffer through. OK, not really, but it was productive and I did get to have a good time – hence this.

So where am I going next? The Chatterbox Show. This Wednesday, February 18, at 10 a.m. EST, I will be chatting it up with Christie from My Life…A Work in Progress on her weekly internet talk show, The Chatterbox. If you’ve never tuned in this Wednesday would be a great time to check her – and Wifey - out.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Idols Everywhere

2009-02-13T08:03:00.006-05:00

No, I’m not in California on my way to becoming the next American Idol, but I did have my own American Idol Experience last night.

I’m down at Disney World in sunny Orlando on a writing assignment and was invited to attend the world premiere and after party of Disney’s Hollywood Studios new attraction, American Idol Experience.

Like everything Disney does, they did this big! The set looks just like the show and they found a host that does Ryan Seacrest better than Ryan Seacrest – and is more likeable, too.

Speaking of Mr. Seacrest, he was there to celebrate the event as well as all of the Idol winners and many of the show's previous contestants. David Cook and Carrie Underwood performed; and Disney wrapped the night up with a fabulous party in the theme park.

All of the American Idol winners (yes, I need a new camera, but the pyro/firework effects during the finale messed with the lighting).

The bluetini’s they served as you entered the soiree.

Yes, they served fabulous food, too, but these desserts were much cuter.

Thumbs up for the American Idol Experience; even if you’re not a fan of the show you’ll still enjoy the adventure. Now if you'll kindly excuse me, I'm off in search of a mouse...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Pics and Picks

2009-02-09T09:50:00.008-05:00

Here’s a few behind the scenes pics from the post shoot I did on Friday for this. The show will air on The Travel Channel in March.

Wifey getting ready to answer the tough questions. Yes, I always do television interviews in my socks.

Me and Irene, one of the fabulous producers of the show.

The "Atlanta Girls" pose for a quick pic in between questions.

Later that day, Husband and I found time to go make our weekly picks. They are:

Husband’s Pick:
Leinenkugel’s Fireside Nut Brown

Wifey’s Pick:
Butte Creek Brewing Organic India Pale Ale

Husband’s pick gets a big thumbs up. Unfortunately he wasn’t able to enjoy it because he’s allergic to hazelnut and didn’t realize it had hazelnut in it until he cracked one open; but don’t worry, I did what any good wife – and beer enthusiast – would do, I drank his for him.

My pick, on the other hand, was a thumbs down. I’m working on a magazine article about organic health so I choose an organic beer. The initial taste was great, really fresh, but it had an incredibly strong aftertaste. I don’t think the aftertaste had anything to do with it being organic and look forward to trying another organic brand, another time... really soon.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wifey’s 25

2009-02-04T08:55:00.002-05:00

I know, I know, its Hump Day at Wifey’s House and there’s no sex post. Gasp! There's just me … and 25 things about me.

I wrote this list for the “25 Random Things about You” note that has plagued Facebook and figured I’d share it at Wifey’s House, too.

So, here’s 25 random things about Wifey … please don’t hold, ahem, any of them against me:

1. Napoleon is my favorite husband. Yes, he’s my only one, but he’s still my favorite.
2. I’m a child at heart. I let my kids go down the stairs head first because I remember how much fun it was when I did it.
3. My sister is my best friend; we call each other Mi Hermana (my sister in Spanish).
4. I’m a certified personal fitness trainer … and I love beer.
5. I would eat pasta every day if it wouldn’t blow me up.
6. I live in the south and I don’t drink sweet tea.
7. I gained more than 40 pounds with my second child.
8. I lost 70 pounds after my second child.
9. I’ve run one half marathon and do The Peachtree Road Race every year.
10. The first car I bought was a ’77 white, four-door Chevy Nova with red plaid “Gucci” interior. Her name was Lillian.
11. Some “friends” I went to high school with stole Lillian and crashed her. She was renamed “The Stolen Nova” and was put to rest.
12. My second car was a Chrysler Laser – The Brown Hornet. I drove it until the door fell off – literally.
13. I Twitter. @wifeyshouse.
14. I’m taking piano lessons ‘cause it’s never too late to learn.
15. I went to the best HBCU – Hampton University.
16. I worked for the best women’s HBCU – Spelman College.
17. I had the time of my life working for the “original” LaFace Records.
18. I don’t miss the madness … just the people.
19. I love writing.
20. I’m a “24” fanatic; and I watch “The Today Show” every morning.
21. I love the NBA ... and the NFL.
22. I play women’s and mixed doubles tennis in an Atlanta tennis league.
23. My wedding was on TLC’s television show “A Wedding Story.”
24. I just took a cruise in the Mediterranean for a television show on The Travel Channel.
25. No, I’m not a reality TV star, but I did have dreams of being a sportscaster in high school.

Don’t worry, I’m not tagging anyone, but feel free to throw yourself under the bus and share a few random facts of your own; inquiring minds would love to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Sports?

2009-02-02T18:04:00.004-05:00

Not if you ask me. Well, not this weekend anyway. I’m still savoring the past two sports-filled days and will probably start going through football withdrawal within the next two weeks.

First up, my little athletes… Miles was hoopin’ Saturday morning. He scored 8 points and was defensive player of his basketball game. Milani, my little shy cheerleader, was the loudest she’s been this year and got a pretty purple star for best leadership on her squad.

Next up a little tennis; or if you’re Rafael Nadal – a lot. Thank goodness for ESPN2 and The Tennis Channel replaying all of The Australian Open action – the time difference put the men and women’s finals on at 3:30 a.m. I enjoyed every second of it – especially watching Serena and Nadal win.

Last but definitely not least – Go Steelers! No, I’m not a die hard fan – if I had to choose, I’d go with the hometown Falcons – but I was pulling for Pittsburgh and enjoyed watching the game go down to the wire.

Through all of the excitement, Husband and I still found time to get to our spot to make our weekly picks. They are:

Husband’s Pick:

Baron’s Black Wattle Superior Wattle Seed Ale

Wifey’s Pick:
Gumdale Shiraz Cabernet 2008

Both are Australian, in honor of The Open. Husband’s pick was great, so great that we never tried mine. Gasp! I’ll shelve it for another time – no drinking during the week, I’m still working on that bikini, remember?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

What's In that Cup?

2009-01-30T18:38:00.002-05:00

Am I wrong for drinking an after workout blueberry protein shake in a Heineken beer glass?

I know. I’m shaking my head, too. But at least I’m gettin’ it done…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll

2009-01-28T08:47:00.003-05:00

It's Hump Day at Wifey's House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll. OK, nix the drugs, but sex and music definitely go together. Remember back in the day when a sex tape didn’t refer to Pamela Lee, Paris Hilton, or Kim Kardashian? Yes, I’m dating myself here, but a sex tape used to be a cassette of your favorite slow jams that you only played for that extra special cutie.

Fast forward to 2009 – no pun intended – and the almighty iPod is probably the method of choice for those seductive selections.

Almost anything by Prince or Sade tops the list. Seal and Babyface have undoubtedly sung many ladies right out of their panties; and let’s not forget Marvin Gaye’s classics – “Sexual Healing” and “Let’s Get it On.” Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing,” and Maxwell’s “Til the Cops Come Knockin’” have got to be in there somewhere and of course, D’Angelo’s “How Does it Feel” – especially if your iPod plays video.

The list could go on and on and on. How ‘bout you? What’s on your playlist? Music lovers want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Beer, Budgets and Bikinis

2009-01-26T11:46:00.003-05:00

Beer, budgets and bikinis don’t normally fall into the same sentence, however, they seem to be intertwined in my life right now. Let’s tackle the beer first.

Husband took me to the most fabulous spirits store I’ve ever seen. Yes, I’m talking about a liquor store, but somehow saying that Husband took me to the most fabulous liquor store I’ve ever seen makes me sound like a little bit of a lush and I’m not. No, really, I’m not. I just enjoy great tasting beer and a glass of good wine – not at the same time, of course.

Anyway, if you happen to be a beer, wine or liquor connoisseur and haven’t been to Total Wine you’re so missing out. The selection is extensive, the prices are reasonable and the layout is inviting. So inviting that as Husband and I cruised the isles eyeing the massive selection of beer and wine, we decided to embark on a little tasting mission. Each weekend each of us will choose a new beer or wine to try that we’ve never tasted before. Fun, right? If you’re a beer or wine lover, discovering new tastes is exciting. Side effects are simply an added bonus.

Best of all our new mission is great for our new budget – the new budget that has us being financially responsible now so we can have financial freedom later. It’s the same budget that slashed our entertainment fund in half. It’s definitely less expensive to BYOB (buy your own bottle) than funneling all of your funds to an overpriced restaurant or bar. Since we’ve committed to saving and staying in more our tasting challenge adds an extra kick to a regular night at home.

So, it’s all good, right? Nope, not really. Not for my bikini. Bikini? Yes, the one I’m planning to fit into by my birthday (April 28). Gasp! Since I already decided that beer is not included in a clean eating diet my new little tasting mission screwed up my healthy eating plan. But, then I realized that I function best when I follow the 80/20 rule. If I eat clean and healthy 80 percent of the time – and exercise regularly – I can enjoy some not so healthy things 20 percent of the time and not feel guilty. When I deprive myself I, like most people, eventually binge; but when I consciously treat myself in moderation, I’m normally able to stay on track. Moderation is key here. We’ll see if it works.

Beer, budgets and bikinis. You’ll probably see more posts about all of these things as I continue to taste, save and get healthy. In the meantime, I figured I share this weekend’s beers:

Husband’s pick
Magic Hat, Not Quite Pale Ale

Wifey’s pick

Dogfish Head, Indian Brown Ale

Were they good? Let’s just say there’s only a few left.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Superwoman is Overrated

2009-01-23T08:44:00.002-05:00

Friday’s confession…

I’m not Superwoman.

Gasp!

But that’s OK, ‘cause no one is.

Even though I dedicated a whole section in my book to dispelling the Superwoman – or Superwifey – myth sometimes I still need a reminder.

I, like most new millennium women, often try to do everything myself. The kids, work, homework, exercise, cleaning, cooking, laundry, more work, more kids stuff, the dog, Husband, deadlines and of course all of these things happen with me looking picture perfect in a cute, no, sexy outfit with flawless hair and make up, perfectly painted nails and a permanent smile plastered on my face.

Right.

I love my life and I’m truly thankful that I have all of these things to do. I’m even more thankful that they don’t have to be done all at the same time.

I had a wonderful work week. Ideas were flowing; writing was effortless so I naturally stayed in that zone. Which also means I naturally did not clean the house, take the dog to get her bath, organize my daughter’s closet and my toes are not painted.

At first I felt guilty for not knocking out my To Do list. Then I realized my To Do list had way too much "To Do" on it and I should celebrate all the things that I did do.

I like being productive. Multi-tasking – with in reason – is one of the best skills you can posses, but being Superwoman is overrated – and will eventually cause you to have a super break down.

How about you? Do you try and take on more than is humanly possible? Take off the red cape – and the pressure – and leave the superhero work to the superheroes.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

It’s a Brand New Day

2009-01-21T09:20:00.003-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

It’s a brand new day. The start of a brand new era. Yesterday our country swore in its 44th president – Barack Obama. A confident, intelligent, capable president who’s ushering in a wave of change in this country; a positive change that reaches so many levels and, most importantly, so many people.

Inauguration 2009, Whitehouse.gov

Watching the inauguration ceremony yesterday, and our country unite and celebrate in such a positive way, left me feeling warm, happy, inspired, patriotic, hopeful, relieved, proud, strong and excited.

If that isn’t sexy, what is?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Still Standing

2009-01-19T08:41:00.004-05:00

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I want to share this story about Miles that happened last year when he was 6.

Miles has had a thing for MLK, Jr. ever since he saw a video about him in Kindergarten. Honestly, I'm not sure if he's more fascinated with the incredible things that MLK, Jr. did for the civil rights movement or the fact that he got shot - with a "real gun."

One day he asked me if MLK, Jr.'s children are still alive. I told him yes, and that his sister is, too. And, that she works at the same place that mommy used to work. Well, to my delight you would have thought that I told the boy I'm best friends with Zack and Cody from The Suite Life or Hannah Montana. His eyes lit up and he excitedly asked if he could meet her.

“I don't know about that sweetie, but I can see if she will sign her children's book for you. What would you do if you could meet her?”

“I would probably fall down!”

When I shared this story with my former boss, she was as tickled as I was; so tickled that she picked up the phone and called Ms. Christine King Farris and asked her if she would meet my son. I don't know who was more excited - me or Miles! When I told him we need to make sure to take a picture he replied, “yes mama, I'll need it to show to my kids one day.”

Wow.

Miles, the gracious Christine King Farris and her autographed book, "My Brother Martin."

I'm glad to report that Miles didn't fall down that day, but his mommy was completely floored!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Guilty Pleasure

2009-01-16T09:44:00.005-05:00

Friday’s confession…

I have been waiting all year for the new season of this…

Friday Night Lights

Yes, I’m a grown-ass woman. 37 years old. No, I've never lived in Texas, never even been to Texas, and my teenage years are long gone, but I still love this addictive show about a small town high school football program – and all the drama that goes with it.

I will be comfortably parked in front of my flat screen at 9 p.m. tonight; and I might even pop some popcorn.

Come on and confess…what guilty pleasure do you enjoy watching? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Let the Games Begin

2009-01-15T09:13:00.005-05:00

Another sports season has officially begun for my little scholar athletes. Basketball – a personal favorite of mine. While Miles is ballin’ big time and loving it, Milan decided not to play. Despite my desperate attempts to persuade, trick and bribe her; the cute little skirts and puffy pompoms won her over – she’s cheerleading.

While I’ve been known in the past to get involved and visibly show my team support, I’m taking the low-key approach this season. No shirts, buttons or homemade signs just lots of love, encouragement… and, of course, pictures.

Milan showing Miles some pre-game love.

My little happy cheerleader.

Post game ice-down. No, he isn't bribing the ref, that's Husband staying involved.

What about your house? What activites do you and your children do? Active moms want to know...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sex... and Shoes?

2009-01-14T08:51:00.005-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

Fendi Lace-Up Pump, $740, Bergdorf Goodman

Hot, right?

I’m just sayin’ there’s something about fabulous shoes that screams sexy … and other things. Gasp!

When’s the last time you donned a pair?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Power of the Jedi Mind

2009-01-09T08:39:00.002-05:00

When I first started this blog I fell into the habit of writing Friday Confessions – posts where I would voluntarily tell on myself about something I probably shouldn’t have thought, said or did.

Don’t ask.

Looks like I’m at it again.

I Jedi mind-tricked the kids into using Target gift cards they got for Christmas to buy underwear for themselves.

I was folding clothes and saw firsthand that new underwear was in desperate need at Wifey’s House. Besides, Miles decided he wanted boxers anyway.

So, I saw the gift cards and excitedly told the kids…

“Ooh, look. Gift cards to Target! Miles you could get those new boxers you want and Milan could get some pretty princess panties! Yay! Sounds like a great idea, right, right? Yay! Yay!”

Yeah, I know. The only things missing were my pompoms and a megaphone.

Their response…

“Cool! Yes! Mom, you’re the best! Will you get them for us! Please, please!”

Oh, and Milan sealed the deal with a really high-pitch scream.

When I told Husband he shook his head and said that I was dead-ass wrong.

If he only knew how many times he’s been Jedi mind-tricked, too.

Shh ... and may the force be with you, too.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sexolutions

2009-01-07T09:44:00.002-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

I started Hump Day last year with this post to help keep sex on your mind - and your to do list. As we begin a new year filled with new resolutions it’s the perfect time to set a few goals for your sex life, too.

Mine?

Right.

I’ll share a few, ahem, to get you started…

1. To try something different. A new position, new time of day, new room of the house…

2. To take a dance class here. It’s sexy and it’s exercise – double bonus points!

3. To do the dance I learn for Husband. Gasp! That would definitely take care of number one on this list.

4. To increase frequency. No explanation necessary.

5. To fit into a bikini by my birthday. No, that’s technically not about sex, but something tells me if I can do it, sex will somehow come into play.

OK, that’s enough. The rest of my list is tucked away safely, booby-trapped with a dye pack and a motion detector.

How about you? Have you made your sexolutions, yet? We're already seven days into the new year...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

You Mean Beer Isn’t Included in Clean Eating?

2009-01-06T09:23:00.003-05:00

Water, hops and barley – that sounds pretty clean to me. A complex carb, right? Right.

OK, I know better, but over the holidays I allowed myself to relax the rules a little bit. I love baking sugar cookies and pound cake; eating holiday hors d’oeuvres and fried chicken, ribs and potato salad on Christmas Day; and yes, I truly enjoy a good glass of wine and ice cold beer.

Yesterday I watched Oprah openly reveal her fears and challenges with weight loss and thought it was one of the best shows that she’s done. She talked honestly about falling off of the wagon and being disappointed and embarrassed about her body. Hello. I don’t know many women – large or small – who can’t relate to that.

I think it’s wonderful that she put herself out there to show people that someone of her stature – with all of the money, power and fame – can still feel insecure and have slip ups. But even more importantly, one of the best messages I got from the show is that you can pick yourself up and get back on the wagon.

Every morning you wake up is a brand new day filled with brand new opportunities to do brand new things.

As I’ve shared before I’ve decided to make clean eating a priority in my life. While I enjoyed the holidays and all of its splendor – and beer, ahem – it’s time for me to get back on the wagon and continue on my quest for a healthy body.

How about you? It’s a brand new day, what brand new things are you going to do?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

New Year, New Rules

2009-01-01T15:48:00.001-05:00

Wifey’s new rules for 2009:

Be Bold
Believe in Yourself
Take Risks
Enjoy the Moment
Think Big
Keep it Simple
Just Do it

Happy New Year.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Christmas Eve To Do List

2008-12-24T07:49:00.001-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

It’s Christmas Eve, do you have your “to do” list?

Finish shopping
Wrap presents
Bake cookies
Cook for Christmas
Stuff stockings
Watch holiday movies
Drink eggnog
Put the kiddies to bed …

then Mr. Claus, too!

Here’s to a little Christmas fun. Ho, Ho, Ho.

Have a safe and Merry Christmas.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Christmas Kisses

2008-12-17T08:42:00.003-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. There’s one week until Christmas, do you have some of this…

More Kisses Mistletoe

Ho, Ho, Ho.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Where Did My Baby Go?

2008-12-12T09:31:00.002-05:00

The conversation during the car ride to school this morning went something like this:

“Mama, I don’t want to wear Spider-man on my underwear anymore.”

That would be my 7-year-old, Miles, informing me of his new choice in undergarments.

Gasp!

That would be me, surprised that Mr. Spider-man himself is ready to give up his webbed drawers.

“You don’t?”

“Nope. No more Spider-man or Transformers.”

“Well what do you want to wear?”

“Boxers!”

A long pause and a few deep breaths.

“OK, but why don’t you want to wear Spider-man anymore?

He thought about how to break it to me gently then said…

“I’m growing up, Mama.”

Right.

Where did my baby go? And, what’s next? At least he still kissed me goodbye before he hopped out the car.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

How Do You Get Started?

2008-12-10T13:03:00.001-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House. The one day a week I dish about sex.

What’s your favorite form of foreplay? No, you don’t have to tell me, but you do have to tell your husband. Is it a kiss on the back of your neck; or watching a naughty flick; or maybe it’s when he takes over with the kids so that you can get a break.

Foreplay for women often starts way before we get into the bedroom. Our mood can be kindled or killed simply by the way we interact throughout the day. You might realize that lack of appreciation sucks the sex drive right out of you, but does he? My bet is he doesn’t, ‘cause if he knew a little acknowledgement is foreplay for you – and that he just might get some if he starts saying please and thank you – you would hear those magic words more often.

I’m being a little factious to illustrate my point: let your husband know what turns you on. Don’t assume that he knows. Take the time to tell him that you think it’s hot when he comes home, rescues you from the daily drama and puts the kids to bed. Show him that you love it by putting him to bed when he’s done. Always make sure to respond when he does something that you like so he knows it’s working – and so that he’ll do it again!

Foreplay is an important part of sex. If foreplay doesn’t happen, chances are sex won’t either.

So, what’s your favorite form of foreplay? Husbands everywhere want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wifey Talks the Talk...

2008-12-08T12:12:00.003-05:00

The good folks at Psychjourney were kind enough to invite me over to talk about my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage.

We had a great time dishing about living together, communication, sex, in-laws and much more. To hear the podcast, please visit Psychjourney Podcast Blog or Lasting Love and Marriage Blog.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Three Reasons to Drop Your Fork and Back Away from the Chocolate Cake

2008-12-05T08:36:00.004-05:00

As a chocolate connoisseur it pains me to say it, but it’s time to end my everyday love affair with foods that aren’t treating me right. I’ve shared many stories about losing weight and exercise, but haven’t always focused on food. Yes, I’m guilty, there’s a big part of me that wishes if I exercise extra hard – a full hour instead of 45 minutes – that I could eat whatever I want and it won’t find a home on my hips or thighs. Even though I know better I’ve still lived in denial, until now.

At 37 years-old my body just doesn’t humor me like it used to. At 21, I could put away a Big Mac, large fries and finish it off with a half bag of Oreo cookies and still fit into my skinny jeans the next day. Now, if I even look at one of my kids’ fries I feel the button on my jeans pop open.

I’ve decided to change my eating habits by eating foods that are good to my body - that provide energy, nutrients and will make me healthy - and to limit the foods that don’t do anything but weigh me down – literally.

There are three things that keep me focused when I suffer from chocolate withdrawal and am in danger of wavering from my plan.

My Health
I know, duh, right? Everyone knows that eating foods that are good for you – lean protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains – improves your health, while foods with no nutritional value – candies, processed and fatty foods – harm it. So why are so many people still choosing the latter? It’s proven that so much of the crap we eat is killing us – literally – but we just keep shoveling it in anyway. Ignorance is bliss… and extremely harmful. I’ve decided to listen to the facts, which leads me to my next point.

Results
The sh*t works! Quickly. Eating foods that are meant to provide your body with the nutrients and energy that it needs makes your body run more efficiently. I feel better, have more energy, I’m sleeping better, my skin looks healthier, I feel sexier, ahem, I’m more confident, and yes, the fat is MELTING off of me. Need I say more?

My Kids

Every time I look at their happy little faces I think about how much I want to be there to see them grow up, about the example that I’m setting for them, and how much responsibility that holds. Like it or not, I’m the most important role model in my children’s lives. How will they learn to take care of themselves if they don’t see me doing it?

So, I’m dropping my fork and slowly backing away from the chocolate cake. Sure, I’ll still rendezvous with it at a holiday party and I’ll take care of Santa’s cookies for him on Christmas Eve, but for the majority of the time my darling chocolate is going to have to survive without me.

How about you? Are you willing to break up with some of your unhealthy loves? Health conscious minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Five Sexy Gifts to Spice Up Your Wish List

2008-12-03T09:57:00.013-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Christmas is three weeks away. Does your wish list need a little help?

Dear Santa,

Please bring me some new sweaters, DVDs, a fruitcake, and oh yeah, the OhMiBod IPod compatible music powered vibrator.

Gasp!

Here are five gift ideas to spice up your wish list – and your sex life, too!

Toys

OhMiBod, $69.00

Accessories

Kama Sutra Bedside Box, 44.99

Lingerie

Diamante Halter Babydoll, Victoria's Secret, $38

Classes

Pole La Teaz , Pole and Sensual Dance Gift Certificates

Books

Real Sex For Real Women: Intimacy, Pleasure & Sexual Wellbeing, by Dr. Laura Berman, $25

Have you written your wish list yet? Mr. Claus is waiting...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Doubling Up

2008-11-26T10:49:00.002-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I posted about Reverend Ed Young’s “sexperiment." This week I find it only fitting to provide you with a link to hear the reverend’s conclusion about the seven day sex challenge he gave to married couples in his congregation.

In the video he suggests that people continue to nurture their sex lives outside of the seven day challenge by doubling up on their regular routine. If you have sex once a week, make it twice. If you’re already getting it on twice a week strive for four. Double whatever the number is and go from there.

The point of doubling up is not to play the numbers game – who cares how many times you do it if you’re not having any fun – but to make a conscious effort to improve the quality of your sex life, not just the quantity.

So, this week when you try doubling up, ahem, don’t only focus on the number of times you have sex, but on making it a more exciting and desirable experience for you and your spouse. Who knows, next week you might think three times is a charm...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sexperiment for MARRIED Couples – Warning Requires Sex - Gasp!

2008-11-19T09:36:00.004-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In case you missed it, here’s a clip from CBS News about Reverend Ed Young’s “sexperiment.”

It reminds me of a shortened and more obtainable version of this.

Over the past week I’ve seen several interviews and media coverage that has either praised him for suggesting such a thing or has condemned him for suggesting such a thing. Gasp! It’s amazing the controversy that sex can stir – especially sex encouraged to strengthen MARRIED couples’ relationships. I did hear him correctly; he is only talking to MARRIED couples, right?

Thoughts? Opinions? Participants? Inquiring and MARRIED minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Therapy Needed for FTWS (Fabulous Trip Withdrawal Syndrome)

2008-11-14T08:54:00.014-05:00

Friday’s confession…

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, shaking and mumbling something to the effect of “No, Suite 1564 is MINE!”

Yes, I’m going through post fabulous trip withdrawals. Damn.

The two weeks I spent sailing around the Mediterranean were, um, how can I describe them? Oh, I know, blissful. Absolute pure bliss. I love my family, and my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, ahem, but I can admit that I thoroughly enjoyed not having to do anything for anybody at anytime during my adventure.

In fact it was quite the opposite, gasp! Everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – was taken care of for me. All I had to do was just be there and enjoy the moment. No cooking, no cleaning, no washing dishes, no laundry, no picking up after anybody, no listening to whining, no getting anybody ready for school, no washing windows – oh, I don’t do that anyway – no checking in the hotel, no planning which tour of which city to take, no worrying about how I will get where I’m supposed to be, everything was planned for and taken care of by somebody else. I did have to decide which new outfit I was going to wear each day and whether I wanted white or red wine with dinner but somehow I struggled through it.

So, forgive me as I imagine myself still lounging in my suite on the beautiful Brilliance of the Seas while the concierge and stateroom attendant do everything that I don’t want to do.

The infamous suite 1564.

The bathroom was luxurious.

A toliet and bidet.

Jacuzzi tub.

The beds, shot from the lounge area complete with a cozy couch/full size pullout bed.

Nobody makes cute little animals out my washcloths at home.

Our private deck.

Wanda and Wifey prepared for anything!

Our "king of the world" moment, sitting on top of the ship as we pull into Venice.

Ah, Venice.

The view from our deck at the end of the day.

See why I’m struggling? Alright, it’s back to the real world. My house needs cleaning and for some strange reason my family likes it when I go to the grocery store and buy food. There’s no concierge or stateroom attendant at Wifey’s House to take care of these things for me.

Oh, damn. I am the concierge and stateroom attendant at Wifey’s House. And you wonder why I’m going through withdrawals…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

She’s So Resourceful

2008-11-13T08:41:00.006-05:00

Milan wanted to ride her bike but couldn’t find her helmet…

Yes, that’s her softball batting helmet on her head.

Nothing’s going to stop this girl.

Later, when she was done playing with her princess babies I told her to put them away…

Five hours later I found them in captivity. Yes, that’s the dog’s crate.

Poor baby Cinderella and Jasmine.

That’s not quite what I had in mind, but you gotta love it. She's so resourceful...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Dress Up to Undress

2008-11-12T08:45:00.003-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In previous posts I’ve talked about looking your best – working out, taking the time to get dressed, ahem, and ditching the bedtime T-shirt and sweatpants. This week I’m encouraging you to freshen up your nighties – but not to sleep in. Gasp!

Yes, I’m talking about lingerie. Technically considered intimate/sleepwear apparel but not necessarily meant for sleeping. When is the last time you took an audit of your teddies and tried them on for your hubby? If you can’t remember I suggest you go straight to your bedroom and take a peek to see what you might be missing.

While lingerie is not for everyone, many men and women find it sexy and empowering. Sometimes slipping into something designed to enhance your sexiness is like unleashing an alter ego allowing you to feel more free and sensuous – or just plain naughty. Gasp!

Whether it’s thongs and thigh-hi’s or babydoll’s and chemises; there’s lingerie out there to fit all different tastes, shapes and sizes. This week take some time to discover what you – and your husband – like and get dressed up … to undress.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Here’s a few links to get you started. The big disclaimer – I have not purchased products from all of these sites, so please review their terms and conditions carefully.

Victoriassecret.com
Barenecessities.com
Pamperedpassions.com

Is Age Just a Number?

2008-11-10T15:57:00.002-05:00

I just read an interesting article in USA Today on the ideal age to get married. According to the US Census, the new median age is almost 26 for women and almost 28 for men. It’s the oldest since they began keeping stats.

Is it better to start your career and look for love later in life? Or, does it make sense to build your life and career with the one you love? What do you think? Ageless wives want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Crazy Lady in the Carpool Line

2008-11-07T09:02:00.001-05:00

The car ride to school was unusually peaceful this morning … right until we pulled up to the front of the drop-off line at school. You know, so everyone could witness my drama.

That’s when I heard a big ruckus in the backseat and turned around to see my children fighting their way to the front to kiss me goodbye. Sweet, right? Yeah, I wish it was all about me but they really only care who gets to do it first.

So I stop the car, turn around, pry them apart and a nice gentleman from the school working the carpool line opens the door just in time to hear me yell. That’s when my son starts crying and screams…

“Mommy, YOU poked me in the eye.”

WTF? Why is everything always my fault? Mind you no parts of my body came anywhere near his eyes.

So now I’ve changed from the crazy lady in the store to the crazy lady in the carpool line.

Great. And, it’s only 9 a.m. Happy Friday…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I’m Back…

2008-11-05T09:44:00.001-05:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Could there be better day to come back? OK, truth be told I’ve been back for a week, I just haven’t blogged. I needed some time to rejoin the “real” world. Wifey’s big adventure was so awesome and dare I say life changing that even I, a writer, can’t fully put it into words – gasp! Instead of trying to do that in one post I’ve decided to share bits and piece of my journey over time, but today, ahem, is Hump Day…

Did anyone watch Oprah’s show on sex this past Monday? Yes, somehow Oprah keeps finding her way into Hump Day. Anyway, if you missed it, you missed a good one. Dr. Laura Berman was her guest and gave a really fun and informative sex lesson about fantasies, orgasms and vajayjays as Oprah calls them.

I won’t attempt to retell the entire show, I suggest setting your DVR to catch it when it reruns, but I will share with you Dr. Berman’s homework assignments. The first one is to kiss for 10 seconds everyday. A few months ago I wrote about kissing and suggested something similar. Move past the peck and kiss your husband for a full ten seconds without the intent of it leading to sex. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised how long a real ten seconds is – one one-thousand, two one-thousand… – and what kind of reaction you’ll get when you do it.

The second homework assignment caused a little stir with the audience: look at your vulva with a handheld mirror. Gasp! Her rational is that you need to know yourself, your own body, and be able to look at, especially if you want him to. Talk about freaking some people out. It’s amazing how sex, and most things relating to sex, can ignite such strong reactions. She didn’t suggest that you examine his body, ahem, she simply suggested that you look at your own.

So, this week feel free to recall your school days and do a little homework. Doubling up on the first assignment might even earn you extra credit.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Still Sailing…

2008-10-23T13:21:00.004-04:00

Buon Giorno, from Italy! No, I didn’t fall overboard – gasp! – Wifey is still here cruising around the Mediterranean. I’ve been doing my best to enjoy every city and all of the sites so I haven’t been blogging like I had hoped.

Barcelona was beautiful...

Cannes was captivating...

and Florence was fabulous.

I’m looking forward to sharing more pictures – and details – once my big, beautiful ship turns back into a pumpkin.

Ciao!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Salutations from Spain

2008-10-17T18:03:00.011-04:00

Hola! After two fabulous days in Madrid I wanted to check-in, send salutations from Spain and share that I am having a wonderful time. Here are a few pictures from my adventure so far…

Wifey and Wanda saying our last goodbyes from the plane...

Loading the luggage up in Madrid...

The Atlanta Girls (as the crew has affectionately named us) having horchatas in Retiro Park...

Looking regal at the Royal Palace...

Wanda, Wifey and my sister, Nicole, hanging out with Don Quixote.

Tomorrow we are off to see Toledo and then onto the beautiful city of Barcelona. I’ll make sure to post more pictures soon.

Adios amigas!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Bon Voyage

2008-10-15T14:29:00.002-04:00

It’s about four hours until I am on sitting on a plane in route to Madrid. I apologize that there is no Hump Day post today, but I will try to make up for it with something extra special when I get back.

In the meantime, I will do my best to write updates and post pictures while I am enjoying Wifey’s Big Adventure so make sure to check back.

Ciao!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wifey's Big Adventure

2008-10-10T16:28:00.003-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I’ve been keeping a secret. I wasn’t trying to be deceptive, ahem, but I wasn’t able to disclose any details until now.

The secret is I’m going on a trip. Not just any trip. A trip overseas… to cruise the Mediterranean Sea… for two weeks… for a show on the Travel Channel… that’ll air in January.

Gasp!

I know. I’ve pinched myself several times, and am happy to report that I’m not dreaming.

Madrid, Barcelona, Livorno, Cannes and Venice are just a few of the places that I'll visit when I board the plane next Wednesday with my sister, Nicole, and our girlfriend, Wanda, to take a cruisetour on Royal Caribbean’s Brilliance of the Seas.

While I’ve traveled to Europe before, I’ve never cruised the Mediterranean and can’t wait to experience it on this beautiful ship.

I wish I could take you all with me – no really I do – but I can’t, so I will make sure to blog as much as I can while I’m there. In the meantime, I’m scrambling to get myself, my wardrobe and Wifey’s real house in order so that Husband and the kids will function smoothly while I’m gone. Gulp!

Here’s a picture of the beautiful Brilliance of the Seas…

And a suite similar to the one I’ll be staying in…

I’m officially counting down the hours until I leave … 118.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sexy Sabotage

2008-10-08T10:57:00.002-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I’ve got a question for you: Are you sabotaging your own sexiness?

I went swimsuit shopping yesterday with my mother as I am preparing to go on a special trip (more details about my excursion in an upcoming post) and for the first time in a long time – thanks to my Fifteen in Five plan – I actually enjoyed it. I bought two fabulous swimsuits and can’t wait to wear them – in public. That inspired me to go home and dive into my closet to search for outfits for the rest of my trip. As I reached past my usual work-from-home, take-the-kids-to-practice, workout gear I found a closet full of stylish, sexy clothes and shoes waiting for me to rediscover them.

Gasp! Have I been sabotaging my own sexiness? While I’m not guilty of rocking the infamous “mom jeans,” I found out that I haven’t always been putting my sexiest side forward. What’s ironic is I know better – I talk about staying a hot chick after getting married in my book – but I think sometimes we all could use a little reminder.

So, here it is… your sexiness reminder. I know we’re all busy, but sexiness really doesn’t have to take a lot of time. I know we all come in different shapes and sizes, but fortunately sexiness does, too. Maybe it’s some hot jeans, sleek boots, pretty panties, a touch of make up, or simply a positive mindset that makes you feel sexy. Whatever it is that sparks your sexiness make sure to flaunt – not sabotage – it!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Bells Ringing and Rings Blinging

2008-10-07T08:16:00.003-04:00

Bells will be ringing for my favorite and only sister Nicole when she joins the wonderful world of "wifedom" and ties the knot with her boyfriend, ahem, fiancé, Corey. He popped the question – and a fabulous diamond ring – yesterday and officially asked her to marry him.

The bling-bling. They’re a little camera shy but the ring isn’t.

Congrats and love to you both. Hey, I’ve got a good book for you to read…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Book Fair on the Square

2008-10-03T13:11:00.003-04:00

Friday’s confession…

It’s difficult to be your own publicist. In my previous life – before kids – I was an entertainment publicist and contributed to the success of several superstars including Usher, OutKast and Toni Braxton. I was very happy putting other people in the spotlight and flying below the radar. Now that it’s time to push my own project I have to get used to stepping into the spotlight and speak up about myself a little bit more than usual.

So with that said, if you live in the Atlanta area I will be signing books at the Book Fair on the Square in downtown Marietta tomorrow, October 4, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Come out and say hello… I would love to sign a book for you!

Oh, and I’m pleased to say I will be interviewing publicists next week.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Do You Fake The Big O?

2008-10-01T09:09:00.003-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week in my Ask Wifey column I tackled a question about faking orgasms. Gasp! Dare I say it, most women have yelled to the hills when they were less than thrilled at sometime or another.

That leads me to ask, do you fake “The Big O?” Don’t worry, it’s a rhetorical question. You don’t have to answer out loud, although your comments are definitely welcome. My question is more to get you thinking. Are you satisfied with the outcome – no pun intended – when you actually find the time to have sex? Or, are you doing your best “When Harry Met Sally” impersonation?

Statistics show it takes more than intercourse for most women to reach orgasm, and that it doesn’t happen during every sexual encounter. My advice to the woman last week was instead of faking it; find new ways that will truly take you there and then share them with your husband.

I suppose a little enhanced holler every now and then doesn’t hurt anything; but wouldn’t it be more fun for everyone involved if you really mean it? What do you think? Theatrical minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I Lost My Game

2008-09-26T09:37:00.001-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I let somebody throw me off of my game – literally. Husband and I joined a flexible tennis league to play mixed doubles. We had our third match yesterday and lost. It’s not that we lost that bothers me, its how. The man we played yesterday was really friendly, but his wife had a cloud of negativity that followed her around the court. Not the obvious kind, she presented a very friendly front, but she had an air of snootiness about her that bothered me from the moment we shook hands.

I tried to ignore it, but I just couldn’t help being bothered by this woman’s every move. Needless to say, I focused more on her and less on my tennis game and was totally distracted by the time they beat us in the second set.

What bothers me the most is not that we lost – the couple played a solid game – it’s that I let myself be bothered by somebody else. I can’t even blame her. She really didn’t do anything but be herself, it was me who allowed me to be affected. I hate that. It’s not the way I normally conduct myself; I’m more of a shrug things off, the glass is half full kind of girl.

Friday’s confession … I let me throw me off of my game – literally. How about you? Have you ever pulled yourself out of your zone, and had trouble getting back? Thrown off moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Six Sexy Do’s & Don’ts

2008-09-24T08:56:00.002-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In honor of the official release of my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage, here’s six do’s and don’ts from the book to help keep your sex life… sexy:

Do take the time to create the sex life you want. You have your whole life to build your sex life. That’s why it’s called a sex life.

Don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. Married or not – period.

Do what makes you feel sexy. Wear pretty panties, shave your legs, and shower yourself with fragrant body wash. Take the time to do the things that make you feel sexy.

Do have a nooner. Meet at home for lunch… and skip the lunch!

Do keep your sex life interesting. There’s nothing worse than boring sex…except more boring sex.

Do experiment with sex toys and games. There’s a wide assortment of fun and safe toys and games available to enhance your sex life. Spice it up and have some fun.

To purchase a copy of Help! I’m a Newlywed for yourself or as a gift for a new bride visit AskWifey.com or Amazon.com.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Scholar Athletes

2008-09-19T10:55:00.007-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I’m at it again. Another season of sports at Wifey’s House and somehow I just can’t help but lose myself in the moment. Now I’ve got two to juggle. Miles had his first football game last Saturday and Milan had her first softball game.

Every overboard mom needs a team sign (yes, I made it myself)...

and a team shirt (no, I didn't make this one)...

and a ferocious little football player...

and a sweet little softball swinger...

ready for her first game!

As much as I love sports I do demand that school and homework come first. After that they can play until the sun goes down. How about you? Do you have any little scholar athletes running around your house? Cheering moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Three Secrets to Better Sex

2008-09-17T13:47:00.001-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. It’s no secret that I’m a fitness fan and am quick to share the benefits of getting buff – remember this – so it shouldn’t come as a surprise after my Fifteen in Five plan that I’m tying sex and exercise back together again.

Here’s three ways exercise can improve your sex life…

Stamina – In a world where everyone is overworked, underpaid and utterly tired exercise provides energy giving you the strength and stamina to make love all night long… or get hot and heavy for a good thirty minutes.

Stretching – Flexibility is often overlooked as one of the important elements of exercise and getting fit. Not only is stretching good for your muscles, but become limber enough to put your leg behind your head or do a full split and see how good it is for your sex life, too. If you don’t believe me ask your husband.

Self confidence – There’s something special that happens once you start exercising and doing things with your body that you never thought you could. Whether it’s running marathons or running down your street, improving your fitness level and shedding extra pounds is one of the most natural and powerful self esteem boosters. Applying that confidence in the bedroom can open doors – or better yet bring the need to lock them – more often.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Do You Believe in Magic?

2008-09-16T09:49:00.001-04:00

If you believe in magic and possibly know how to conjure up a little of your own, you and I need to chat.

If you know how to be in two places at once that’s a secret that would help me a lot right now. If you know how to snap your fingers and poof, your house is clean, or even better if you have the cleaning fairy’s cell phone please leave it in a comment below… I’ve been trying to reach her for awhile now. And finally, I’m still trying to figure out how to add more hours to my day. If anyone has cracked the code to that age old classic, I could really use that info.

So, did I mention things have been a little busy around Wifey’s House recently? How about your house? How do you manage to get everything done without a little magic? Busy moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Fab Friday

2008-09-12T17:30:00.003-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I didn’t do a confession today, but I did start a new column at The Newlywed Life called Fab Friday. If you like cute shoes this post is for you…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

All Night Long or One Hour Strong?

2008-09-10T09:22:00.003-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Husband was flipping through this…

(No, this post is not about the cover, even though it’s oozing sex.)

… and handed me the magazine to look at the article, “The 33 Most Overrated.” While he was laughing at something at the top of the list, it was the bottom that grabbed me.

Number 33 on Blender magazine’s most overrated people, places, trends and other junk in rock list is Sexin’ All Night Long. The article reads:

“Usher, Keith Sweat, AC/DC, Prince…we could go on and on about the mack daddies who brag about going on and on – hittin’ it, workin’ it and doing other stuff to it – until the break of dawn. Even Dokken have a song about all-night boning. Two words for all these guys: Shyeah, right! Have you actually ever tried sexin’ it for more than, like, two hours? You get bored. You get sores. You get tired. Call us square, but unless you’re Sting or a crystal-meth addict, an all-night sex marathon sounds about as fun as an all-day Friends marathon. Underrated alternative: Sexin’ for 45 minutes and getting 10 hours sleep.”

Is it me or is this funny as hell? When was the last time you had sex for more than two hours… in a row? Gasp! My newlywed wives might have a little different answer than my veterans, especially if the sexin’ hasn’t spawned any children yet. Kudos to those with the stamina to sustain, but the underrated alternative might not be so, ahem, underrated.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Getting into the Games

2008-09-08T09:10:00.001-04:00

I’m feeling very athletic this morning, in somewhat of a virtual way. I started playing Fantasy Football yesterday with some of the moms from Miles’ football team. Now I know why my husband acts the way he acts during football season. Yes, I got caught up in all of the hype.

We had our online draft last night and jumped right into the competition of the first weekend of football. My team, Wifey’s Warriors, is trailing my opponent, Purple Thunder, by about 25 points, but there is still Monday Night Football so I’ll have to wait and see what happens.

I am also feeling athletic because my first tennis match with my women’s doubles team was yesterday. Although we had to retire the match because my partner got sick in the heat – they don’t call it Hotlanta for nothing – both of us played really great in the first set. I could see and feel a definite improvement in my game and can’t wait to continue the rest of the season.

How about you? Are there any athletes out there – real or virtual? Active moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Don't Wake the Baby!

2008-09-05T16:13:00.002-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I have the terrible habit of laughing at some of the things my children do and say that should solicit a more, ahem, parental response. Thank God for Husband or we would all be a hot mess.

For instance, Milan put her baby doll to sleep the other day. It was all nice and neatly tucked into its baby carrier. After she put the baby down on the couch she looked at us both sweetly and said, shh, please talk softly so that you don’t wake up my baby.”

Both Husband and I shrugged our shoulders alright. I guess that wasn’t good enough for Miss Milan because she responded quickly, “if you wake my baby up, she’ll reach out and scratch you!”

Gasp! WTF? Where did that come from?

After ducking away to hide my laughter I pulled myself together enough to tell her that I hope she is teaching her baby that scratching people is not a nice thing to do.

Yes, my darling dear had answer for that one, too.

“I tell her, Mama, but she just doesn’t listen.”

Hmm, sounds familiar.

How about you? Are you good at keeping a straight face in front of your children or do you laugh out loud? Silly moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sex Signals

2008-09-03T10:48:00.001-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I have a question for you: do you know what kind of sex signals you send to your spouse? And, when you send them?

You are sending sex signals, whether you mean to or not. And, believe me, your husband is reading them, correctly or not. When you’re tired, overworked, and completely distracted your husband can read that in your body language. If you put the kids to bed then go change into your favorite pair of sweatpants and an oversized T-Shirt, he knows his chances of getting them off of you are slim. That’s not to say that he won’t try, but more than likely a red flag went up when those sweatpants went on – especially if you normally slip into something sexy when you’re trying to seduce him.

Do you get into the bed and turn your back on him when you want to go to sleep? Do curlers in your hair mean no nookie for the night? Do you touch him more throughout the day when you have thoughts of getting it on later?

These subtle signs, intentional or not, register with your spouse. It’s important to be aware of the messages you’re sending and when you send them so that you stay on the same sexual page with your husband. Too many negative vibes might leave him feeling discouraged and undesirable. Gasp! Yes, men don’t like rejection anymore than women do, especially when it comes to sex… and they can be extremely sensitive about it.

This week, pay attention to your sex signals. You might be conveying messages that you don’t mean to send. If sweatpants don’t mean hands off, make the first move and let him know. If you are tired and want a pass for the night, sleeping topless might not deter him. Whatever you do, make sure to keep your intentions, and your husband’s feelings, in mind.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Golden Girl

2008-09-02T14:35:00.003-04:00

It’s over. Whoo hoo! My Fifteen in Five plan has reached it’s end and the final results are in…. after almost five weeks I have lost a total of 10 pounds and dropped nearly two clothes sizes – and I am absolutely thrilled!

No, I did not reach the fifteen pounds, but in my eyes I still won. Ten pounds in a little less than five weeks is phenomenal and most importantly a healthy amount of weight to lose. That averages out to two pounds per week, which follows most professional guidelines.

About three weeks into my plan I realized losing the fifteen was looking slim – no pun intended. For a brief moment I contemplated doing something drastic to ensure that I hit that mark. I’m certain if I restricted my calories even lower than I already had, added a few more workouts or went on a “cleanse” I would have made the fifteen, no doubt. Then I quickly realized that would be a disappointing mistake. Not only is it dangerous – mentally and physically – to be so attached to reaching a number, but it would be a poor example to set since I am sharing my journey with other people. Besides, I am not J-Lo, Beyonce or any other superstar getting paid millions of dollars to toy with their weight on demand.

So, I stuck to my plan of working out and eating healthy; and couldn’t be happier with the results. My girlfriend who also took the challenge with me, faired well and lost just under 10 pounds herself, so I went out and got us both a little something.

Inspired by the Olympics, I think it’s important to recognize hard work when it happens. Both of us stayed strong to our commitment – working out regularly, no cheating with the eating and not drinking one drop of alcohol. With five kids between us, all under age ten, that deserves a medal in itself.

I’m not sharing all of this to toot my own horn – as a former publicist I naturally like to blend into the background – but I would love to inspire someone to tackle one of their goals, too. I think I’m proof that you don’t have to be perfect (I lost 10 pounds not 15, remember?) but you do have to do it. Besides, some of the rewards are priceless.

Last spring I bought an adorable little tennis dress on sale knowing I couldn’t fit into. It was 50 percent off, a size too small and stayed on the hanger with the tag on it the entire season. Now, that same little dress will be the one I wear on Sunday to start off my fall tennis season.

My dress, my gold medal and me ten pounds lighter!

The accountability of having a partner and blogging about my journey has been extremely helpful in staying on course. I appreciate all of you who stopped by to cheer me on and wish me well. Please let me know if I can ever do the same for you…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tomorrow, Tomorrow…

2008-09-01T09:04:00.001-04:00

I’m actually taking a little time to enjoy the three day holiday weekend and am spending time with my family today… so, I will post about the results of my Fifteen in Five plan tomorrow.

I know, I know, the suspense is killing you right? But tomorrow is only a day away.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I'm Late... But Passin' Out Bling

2008-08-29T12:12:00.005-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I’m late. I have been tagged, awarded, and memed; and am just now posting about it. I’ve fallen in love with blogging and have truly met some incredible people doing it. I appreciate all you lovely ladies who gave me a shout, please know you are always welcome at Wifey’s House! I have two awards to pass out today and will tackle the memes next week.

Now here’s my attempt to give a little back…

The Restless Housewife and Monkey Toe Momma were sweet enough to give me the You Make My Day Award.

There weren’t any rules with that one so I’m combining it with this one…

The I Love Your Blog award was passed on to me from the wonderful Terri Rainer.

Here are the rules:
1. The winner can put the logo on their blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you’ve nominated.

I am passing them both along to:

Mocha Momma
Caffeine Court
Enjoyceinglife
MoziEsme
The Dana Files
Immoral Matriarch
Workout Mommy!

While all of these blogs are uniquely different, they are each outstanding in their own right. Some of them I’ve just started reading, while some of them were my firsts in this wide, wild, world of blogging.

Kudos to you ladies for creating such fabulous blogs and thanks for doing what you do…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Feel the Music

2008-08-27T08:36:00.003-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week Oprah’s got me again. For some reason her television show and magazine continue to feed me great material for Hump Day (thanks, Oprah … we should do lunch!).

I was flipping through the pages of the September issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, the shopping section to be specific - and had to stop and do a double take when I saw a picture that looked like this...

Now I’d like to think that I’m a smart girl, but I quickly shoved the magazine in Husband’s face to confirm that this was what I thought it was.

It’s called the OhMiBod. Yes, it’s a vibrator that plugs into your iPod, iPhone, or any other music player and vibrates to the rhythm of the music. Wow. This gives a whole new meaning to the saying "feel the music."

The magazine actually featured this one...

It's called the Naughtinano – don’t you just love the names? OhMiBod also makes several other musically inspired gadgets to choose from.

For all you music lovers out there, ahem, here’s the link.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

2008-08-25T08:43:00.001-04:00

Do you remember that movie starring Lilly Tomlin? Uh oh, I’m dating myself with that one. Anyway, my height is not shrinking but I’m happy to say that my width is.

I’m in the home stretch of my Fifteen in Five plan and I’m determined to reach my goal. The numbers on the scale are still fluctuating, yikes!, but the numbers on my clothes don’t lie. I’ve dropped one, possibly two clothes sizes and actually enjoy looking in the mirror. Gasp!

I’ve got five more days to convince the scale to be my friend again, but I already feel like I won. I’ve stayed focused, displayed discipline and feel better than I have in a long time. I know that that is more important than what the scale tells me, but I’ve set this challenge so I’m putting my all into finishing it.

So, here’s to a week of great workouts, good healthy eating and falling numbers. Wish me luck…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I Suck

2008-08-22T16:26:00.002-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I suck. I didn’t do my Friday’s confession. Oh wait, that is a confession. Let’s start over…

I suck.

Seriously, I’ve had an extremely productive work week which in turn has left me without my normal Friday’s confession. This is a good and bad thing. Work is good, no confession is bad.

Oh wait, I forgot… I did do a confession…I suck. See what too much work and lack of alcohol does…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

(No, I'm not catholic, every Friday at Wifey's House I confess something that probably shouldn't be said.)

Kiss and Tell

2008-08-20T11:00:00.001-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I shared a few interesting facts about sex. One of them was the average person spends two weeks of their life kissing. It might sound like a lot but when you break it down it’s really not. Two weeks is 336 hours. There are 8,736 hours in one year. Let’s say you live 80 years, we’ll only count 60 since none of us were kissing anyone before we were twenty, right? Ahem, ahem. That’s 524,160 hours. A mere 336 hours doesn’t seem like much when you added it all up.

The point of that exercise was not to show off my math skills, or lack of if my numbers are wrong, it’s to bring to your attention how often you kiss your spouse. When is the last time you kissed your husband? I mean really kissed your husband. Not the quick peck goodbye kiss, but the I-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you, we-just-started-dating kiss.

I know, nothing can really recreate that magical feeling you had when you first started dating, but there is something special about a long sensual kiss. It can make sparks fly when the flame is flickering and add an exciting boost to your relationship.

This week kiss your husband. Not just in the bedroom, but sometime that you both least expect it. Stop him when you pass him in the hallway, interrupt him when he’s checking his e-mail, or catch him during a commercial when you’re watching your favorite show. You don’t have to kiss and tell, kissing enthusiasts never do, but you do have to kiss him. After all, the hours are adding up.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Break Up to Make Up

2008-08-18T09:00:00.003-04:00

That’s what the song says, but I prefer to stop all of the back and forth. We’re cool again – me and my former best friend. I still don’t trust her, she can be so sometimey, but she’s moving in the right direction again so I’ll keep her.

Seriously, it was good week for my Fifteen in Five plan. I stayed on track with my eating, haven’t touched a drink, gasp, and enjoyed my workouts – especially running. Oh, and I lost a couple of pounds, too. Ironically, I’m really not a numbers girl. I place more importance on how healthy I am, how I feel and how I look than on how much I weigh.

I decided to strive for a number to challenge myself so I would work harder and not settle for what so far has been relatively easy. Mediocrity and doing just enough to get by can be more damaging than you realize. Sometimes good isn’t good enough. Maybe I’m caught up in Olympic fever, watching the best in the world compete, but I’m itching to do more. I’ve got a little less than two weeks to make my goal and I definitely plan on doing it. That means it’s time to turn it up another notch, to break out of my comfort zone and to think about my personal gold medal waiting for me once I'm done.

Speaking of the best in the world, my grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday over the weekend. I could write for hours about all the joy she has brought to my life, but instead I’ll just share a picture from her birthday celebration and assure you there’s nothing mediocre about this woman.

My foxy G-Ma!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tooth Fairy Fired Due to Budget Cuts

2008-08-15T10:47:00.003-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I’m a little on the frugal side. I like to save money. I look for bargains or inexpensive brands… oh hell, I’m cheap! So, when my son woke up the other morning and told me that the tooth fairy left him $4 I knew he must’ve counted incorrectly.

Four dollars? WTF? That’s a gallon of gas.

Don’t get me wrong. My children are priceless, but come on, it’s a tooth. And it’s not in his mouth anymore.

So I had a little chat with the tooth fairy who thought that was a fair amount for the type of tooth that it was and it’s position in the mouth. Again, WTF? Clearly the tooth fairy is not in charge of the budget at Wifey’s House.

Is it just me or is $4 a lot? I remember getting change for my teeth. I know that was 30 years ago, ahem, but still. Please let me know if you think I should fire the tooth fairy or if I need to get second job to pay for all these teeth.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sex Facts or Fiction

2008-08-13T08:46:00.004-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I could use a little mindless humor. I stumbled across this website of interesting facts and thought that I’d share a few of the sex ones with you.

Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate. Is that why I get so excited over a good piece of … chocolate?

Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds. No, really? I thought it was 5.

Each day, there are over 120 million sexual intercourse acts taking place all over the world. Wow. Imagine if all of the tired moms added to that number.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour! This is good to know for my Fifteen in Five plan.

Eight-five percent of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse are found to have been cheating on their wives. Can you say Karma?

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Hello, they lived in Bedrock…Yabba dabba doo!

25% of women think money makes a man sexier. No comment.

Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don’t. And I thought reading all of those self-help books was productive.

The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing. Hmm, I wonder how much of that leads to the 120 million sexual intercourse acts per day.

I’m not sure how many of these are facts or fiction. The site that I pulled them from listed no sources, but did include this on one of the lists:

60% of statistics are made up... Gasp! You mean eating large quantities of chocolate is not just like having sex? Damn.

This last one has nothing to do with sex, but I couldn’t resist…

In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions. I can vouch for this one myself.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Best Friends Forever?

2008-08-11T08:46:00.003-04:00

Remember last week I introduced you to my new best friend? Well, we broke up this morning… right after I threw it out the window.

OK, I didn’t throw it out the window, but we really don’t like each other anymore. It’s not personal, we just don’t see eye to eye about all of the hard work that I put in last week on my Fifteen in Five plan, so, I’ve decide to move on.

Seriously, my numbers didn’t really move from last week which is fine because I’m still on track to meet my goal. I’m proud of the hard work and effort that I put in last week. I worked out hard, stayed away from my liquor cabinet, survived two business lunches (one at an Italian restaurant and one at a soul food joint), and made it through a day at Six Flags Over Georgia without eating a funnel cake.

Now that's will power. And yes, Husband and the kids did tear one apart right in front of me!

I feel like I’m getting stronger, mentally and physically, and my pants are feeling a little looser around my waist. So, the way I see it it’s fine to part ways with my new, ahem, former best friend… at least until next week when I find out if it’s decided to play nicely.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Dining After Dark

2008-08-08T09:00:00.000-04:00

Friday’s confession…

I ate dinner last night at 10:08 p.m. Yikes! And, to make matters worse it wasn’t just salad or something light without carbs, gasp!, I had seared scallops with broccoli and wheat penne pasta tossed in oil olive, garlic and Italian seasoning… and it was good as hell.

Everything was healthy, but it was 10:20 p.m. by the time I finished scoffing it down. Not very conducive to my Fifteen in Five plan. And this wasn’t the only night this week I ate so late. Um, it’s actually the fifth. In my defense the other days I did eat only a bowl of soup or something really light. Miles had football practice every night this week (when in doubt blame the kids) and while I fed the kids early, before practice, Husband and I ended up eating after practice, bath and bedtime.

I know better, really I do, but those scallops screamed “Wifey” so loud last night I couldn’t resist. How about you? Does your schedule, ahem, children’s schedule ever cause you to put your needs on the back burner, literally, where you find yourself in front of a plate way past prime time? Late night diners want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Who Me? Nah, Really? Well, OK!

2008-08-07T09:32:00.004-04:00

I had to read the comment twice when Jenny at Daily Dose of Motherhood let me know she honored me with the Arte Y Pico Award. I know, I know, it’s not a Grammy or good old Oscar, but it’s recognition for what I do and for me that feels just as good. So Jenny, I appreciate you and I will gladly pass the award on to five other deserving bloggers.

Here are the rules:

1) Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.
2) Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it.
3) Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4) The award-winner and the presenter should post the link of the “Arte Y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5) Please post these rules.

There are so many blogs that I would love to acknowledge, but I can only choose five, so here we go:

Monkey Toe Momma @ Donna Reed in Blue Jeans
Angela @ Becoming Me
Mozi Esme @ Mozi Esme
CP and Kim/2Kids @ 3 Giraffes
White Hot Magik @White Hot Magik

Ladies, get your acceptance speeches ready…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Erotica for Everyone?

2008-08-06T10:58:00.001-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

Several months ago I wrote this post about women watching porn and the stigma that goes with it. It stemmed from an article that I read in O, The Oprah Magazine. Well, good old Oprah is inspiring me again, this time from her television show, specifically the one she aired on Monday about sex.

Several of the segments discussed pornographic videos, or as it was often referred to on the show, erotica. Oprah talked to several unassuming, everyday, average-looking women about their desire to watch erotica and how it enhances their sex lives. The experts all agreed that erotica can be beneficial to a couple’s sex life, especially when used as tool to increase a woman’s sex drive.

I know, I know, the taboo is still there. Watching porn, ahem, erotica is for men, it’s degrading to women, tasteless and something that good girls never do, right? If that’s the case then please explain how one in every four dollars spent in the $12 billion adult entertainment industry is spent by a woman. Gasp!

Apparently, times are changing. Porn doesn’t have to be just for the boys anymore. It doesn’t have to be degrading, tasteless or something only naughty girls explore. It even has a nice new name, erotica, and is often encouraged by many sex therapists to rekindle the sparks in couples’ sex lives.

So for those of you interested, I’ve got a site for you. I must say, it’s not like the Suzy Homemaker site I suggested a few weeks ago, this is erotica… oh hell, its porn, and they’re not shy about it.

When I went to BlogHer ’08 a few weeks ago, one of the first people I met was J.D. Bauchery, a sex blogger and porn reviewer for HotMoviesForHer.com. While most of the 1000 women at the conference where mommy bloggers I, of course, sat the table with one of the few porn bloggers in the place. At any rate, she gave me her card and encouraged me to check out the site, so I did. In addition to movies, they also have reviews, blogs, sex tips, erotica stories and more.

While erotica might not be for everyone, clearly the number of enthusiasts is growing. If you find yourself the least bit curious, don’t be shy, just be safe, and remember one in every four out of $12 billion in the adult entertainment industry is spent by women – you’re obviously not alone.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Front Seat Access

2008-08-05T10:38:00.004-04:00

OK, is it me or does it seem like there are more children riding in the front seats of cars these days? I just got in from running, ahem, jogging, and saw a child that couldn’t have been more than 8 years old ride by in the front passenger seat of a car. And, yesterday when I picked the kids up from school, a little boy hopped in the front passenger side, too, and he didn’t look a day over 9. I even saw a little girl who looked like she might be 6, if that, slip into the front.

What’s with all of the front seat access? Did I miss some recall or change in the law that states kids are now safe in the front and that the airbags won’t kill them anymore? I’m not passing judgment, really, I’m not, I just hate to see kids put in dangerous situations, especially when they don’t have to be. All the cars had huge, empty back seats. Really they did, I looked.

I also looked at this…

The front flip sun visor in my SUV.

Is it just me? I’m not a neurotic, strict-rule abiding parent by any means, but come on…who really wants the little jokers (and all of their toys) in the front seat with them anyway?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

People Let Me Tell You ‘Bout My Best Friend

2008-08-04T09:01:00.004-04:00

The scale – it can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I am totally diggin’ the scale today and would carry around my new best friend with me everywhere I go if I could.

One week has passed in my Fifteen in Five get right plan, and my Monday morning weigh-in was excellent. I lost 5.5 pounds. It’s exciting, rewarding and extremely motivating for me to keep on going. While I know that progress is not always reflected on the scale, you can have a very productive week without seeing the numbers move; it still feels fabulous when they do!

My girlfriend also had a great week. We’re having a good time encouraging each other to do our workouts, to stay on track with our meals and to skip the beloved glass of Merlot. Yeah. We talked a lot on Saturday night when that bottle came a callin’.

My new best friend

My old best friend (don’t worry, we’ll meet again soon)

I’m looking forward to week number two. I’m feeling stronger, I have more energy and I’m planning a big ass shopping spree for when I’m done!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I'm a Crust Cutter... and I'm Proud

2008-08-01T16:33:00.002-04:00

Friday’s confession…

OK folks, brace yourselves, this is a big one. I, um… cut the crust off of my kids’ sandwiches. Gasp!

I know, I know. What kind of mother am I, right? Catering to their every whim. It’s just that I don’t particularly like the crust on my sandwiches either, but I’m a grown up now so chopping the ends off of my bread seems a bit, well, childish. So, I eat mine – sometimes – and cut theirs off since I know they don’t like it.

While I’m telling on myself, I might as well admit that I don’t make them eat things that they don’t like either. Gasp! Gasp! OK, please don’t take my Mom Card – I didn’t say that I don’t make them eat; I make them try things, but if they truly don’t like them then I don’t force them to eat it.

That’s probably because I remember sitting at the kitchen table for what seems like hours with a plate of cold lima beans and chicken livers in front of me that I was told I had to eat before I could get up. Yuck.

There are many things that my parents did that I swore I would never do and of course I find myself doing most of them. But, this is not one of them. I kept my promise and am not sad to say that a chicken liver has never graced my kitchen table.

Thank goodness for my parents, my mother-in-law and my husband because they expose the kids to foods that I don’t particularly like. I do my best to use my poker face and let them form their own opinions, but I’m quick to come to their rescue if they sit down with a big old bowl of Brussels sprouts and find out their little tastebuds don’t quite like them.

How about you? Are you a crust cutter or food forcer? Finicky-eating moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Breasts, Tummies, Lips… Now This?

2008-07-30T08:39:00.002-04:00

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

Did you know that you can get plastic surgery done on your vajayjay? Breasts, lips, hips even butts, but I had no idea that upgrades were available for your vagina, too.

I personally am not a big fan of plastic surgery (although I never say never) nor am I advocating for anybody to get some, but I am truly fascinated that there are procedures for your private area and felt the need to share my discovery with you.

I was watching The View last week and saw Dr. David Matlock from the television series Dr. 90210 dishing with the hosts about laser vaginal rejuvenation and improving sexual relations by tightening vaginal muscles. Then he broke out a model of the vaginal area, pointed out the infamous G-spot and explained that there is a G-spot Shot that can increase sexual pleasure and cause more frequent and multiple orgasms. Hello.

While all of that sounds, um, exciting, I’m not certain that me and my vajayjay are ready to visit the good doctor, but for any of you who might be tempted – oh, come on… I know some of you, ahem, many of you have to be a tiny bit curious – here’s a link to The Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles where you can learn more about it.

In the meantime, this just might be good motivation to give yourself a little natural rejuvenation – can anyone say Kegels?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Fifteen in Five

2008-07-29T09:37:00.002-04:00

Now that the kids are back in school and I have my days back to be productive, ahem, I’m all geared up to do that. I have several goals, both professional and personal, and have decided to push myself harder than usual to get the results I want. I find myself telling my kids to strive to be the best, not to blend in with everyone else, that good isn’t good enough, and that they should work hard to be great.

Yeah well, there’s this little voice in my head that keeps telling me to practice what I preach. I want to set a good example for my kids. I want to have a sexy, toned body and start training again. I want to sell out the first run of my book and have even more success with the next one. I want all of these things but have been guilty of standing in my own way. Most of the time I am my own biggest obstacle. Correction, I was my own biggest obstacle. I’ve decided to stop wanting and to start doing.

It’s time to turn things up a notch. While I applaud myself for the things that I’ve already accomplished, I know that there is even more in store for me – as long as I’m willing to work for it. I think that’s one of the major differences between successful people and the majority. Successful people don’t just talk about what they want, they make it happen. So, with that said I’m attacking my goals with detailed plans and, most importantly, action.

One of my goals is to tone my body – to lose excess fat, get stronger, leaner and healthier. OK, I can’t lie, a booty like Beyoncé’s would be nice, but I’ll be happy with a slim-downed version since I can’t move mine like she does anyway.

Fifteen in five – pounds and weeks. While that might be a bit aggressive, I’m feeling like a challenge is much needed to push past my plateau. A challenge and a little accountability. My girlfriend and I are tackling the next five weeks together with weekly Monday weigh-ins and a set of guidelines to keep us on track. I’ll also be chronicling some of my journey here. I might boast about some of my success and I might bitch about some of my challenges – did I mention I’m giving up alcohol for the five weeks? Gasp! Talk about dedication.

How about you? Are you striving to do your best at whatever you do or are you your own biggest obstacle? Successful minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

School is Back and So is My Sanity

2008-07-28T09:17:00.008-04:00

It’s the first day of school. Yes, you read correctly and yes, I know that it’s still July. My kids go to a charter school that uses a balanced calendar, which means they have more time off around the year and a six week summer.

I have a second grader and a kindergartener. Wow. My babies clearly are not babies any more and are officially out of the house – at least for seven hours a day. I’m not sure if I want to run around jumping for joy or to sink into the sofa and sob, so I’ll just share a few pictures instead…

My big kindergartener!

The annual classic first day of school picture.

The annual chaos to take the classic first day of school picture!

OK, jumping for joy wins, whoo hoo, but… I’ll be the first one on the car pool line, happy to see their out-of-the-house, school-going smiling faces.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

100 Posts, But Who's Counting

2008-07-25T13:33:00.003-04:00

Friday’s confession …

This is my 100th blog post and I must admit, I keep peeking around corners waiting for the balloons, confetti and a slick talking man with a plastic smile, bad hair and a checkered colored suit holding a microphone to run up and congratulate me with an oversize $10,000,00 check.

OK, I’m awake now … but it is a big deal to me. Especially since I’m still riding the high from BlogHer ’08. I remember my first post like it was yesterday, OK, it was only six months ago, but still. I tend to get a little dramatic when I’m emotional, bear with me.

Even though no surprise celebrations have happened thus far, I must say on this momentous day, it’s nice to be mentioned… no featured, no… to have my face plastered on one of my favorite blogger’s post, ahem, Mocha Momma, ahem – even if it is because no one really knows who the hell I am or can tell any of “us” apart.

Thanks to all of you who have read any of the first 100 … here’s to 100’s more to come!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Hair Police Not Only Stopped Me, They Were Riding in My Car!

2008-07-24T10:48:00.003-04:00

The conversation on the car ride home from Miles’ dentist appointment yesterday was informative to say the least. As we stopped at a shopping center to run into the grocery store Miles happily told me…

“Mama you should go in there!”

The sign read Beauty Mart.

“Really, why?”

Duh. Just slap me now. I don’t know why I asked.

“Because you NEED to get your hair done.”

Thank goodness I wasn’t feeling particularly vulnerable yesterday or my outburst of laughter could have easily been crying. WTF? I thought I was cute rockin’ my baseball hat and ponytail. I even did my make up.

This is the same kid who is the first to tell me how pretty I look without prompting when I get all dolled up, so I’m inclined to think he’s telling the truth.

Damn.

My ego has since recovered, but yes, I can be a tad shallow… by the end of the day my ‘do was done!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey